run from what’s comfortable…

Run from what’s comfortable. Boy, oh boy…did I ever do that this past week. I wrote in my post “i did it” that I finally garnered the courage to try out a Parkinson’s-centered physical therapy class. And…I DID go back on Thursday. And…I DID get to punch things…and kick things. It was liberating! It’s probably the closest to “beast-mode” I’ll get these days. 🙂 And then things got really uncomfortable.

exciting time…

I posted on social media over the weekend that there are some exciting things happening for me. I shared about it in this video on the new Just Shake It Off Facebook page. Many of you have already seen it, but I also wanted to share it here. As I mentioned in the video, the editor that reached out to me works for a publishing company that has a somewhat specific market and niche that they’re targeting. As I also said in the video, I’ve recently accepted that I belong to this niche. I have Parkinson’s Disease. This is my new normal. It is a medical magazine that will be distributed throughout physician’s offices across the United States. The upcoming publication is focusing on living with Parkinson’s Disease.

The editor was researching PD, looking for information, personal stories and tips for living a full life with PD. In her research, MY BLOG “popped up” in her search results. This is what is so incredibly unbelievable to me. I started this as a journal for myself…to get these thoughts out of my head. I thought that maybe a few friends and family would be interested in what I’m writing. I never thought my writing would “pop up” in an internet search…that a medical magazine would want to talk with me. In the days leading up to the interview, and even as the interview began, I felt they had chosen the wrong person. They were looking for people to share their tips on living life fully despite their PD diagnosis. That certainly was not me. Not in the early days of my diagnosis. I was angry. I was not proactive at all. The only thing I did in those early days was read about Parkinson’s. And the only thing reading did was make me angrier…and scared. I told her that this new attitude and resolve was a fairly recent turn-around for me. She let me know that that was even better…because it was real.

(not) ready for my close-up…

That phone interview was a couple of weeks ago. At the end of the interview, she let me know that someone from their design department would be getting in touch with me about a photo shoot. Seriously…?!? Comfort zone…?!? Well, Friday I had a photo shoot. THAT…a photo shoot…(one that the magazine paid for, no less) is even more unbelievable to me than the interview was. I do not like photos of myself. I do not like being the “center of attention”. I’m perfectly content to be an observer…to watch others enjoy the shine of the spotlight and the flash. Um, yeah… that’s pretty impossible to do in a photo shoot. But, guess what? For the third time in less than one week…I found myself having fun. Having fun OUTSIDE my comfort zone. Who knew?!? I have Anora, from A13 Studios, to thank for that. Anora has been witness to almost every step of this journey I’m on. Other than family, Anora was the first person I told about both my Lupus and my Parkinson’s diagnoses. She saw me pretend to be brave…to proclaim, “I’m fine”. And then she saw me retreat, withdraw and pretty much give up. Having her do this photo shoot…having her see me wake up and start fighting back…yeah, full circle.

coming this summer…

The interview is recorded. The photos are submitted. I have no control over the rest. Here I am…back outside my comfort zone once again. I like being in control. I’m a planner and an organizer. I like knowing who, what, where, why, when. I guess I do kind of know the when. The magazine should be out at the end of June, beginning of July. And…I do know that I’m not allowed to share any of the photos until the magazine has chosen which ones they want to use. No. Control. Can’t even see the comfort zone. So, as I’ve learned in these last few weeks, and especially these last few days…I’m going to let go, let god and try to have nothing but fun out here. Out here…outside of my comfort zone.